Red Lobster caves to straw hysteria. Is the Big Gulp next?

Red Lobster fell into line this week, announcing that it was banishing Public Enemy No. 1 – The plastic straw.

This is not looking good.

I say that on behalf of those who believe in science, common sense and not spilling Big Gulps all over our cars. We have been fighting the good fight against anti-straw forces, but their propaganda machine is grinding us down.

The enemy has claimed Starbucks, McDonald’s, Disney and most of the latte-sipping enclaves in California. Now Red Lobster, our Orlando-based restaurant giant, has gone to the Dark Side.

From now on, customers will have to ask for plastic straws. By the end of 2020, Red Lobster plans to totally eliminate them (the straws, not the customers).

“This is a meaningful step in our long-standing commitment to protect and preserve the world’s oceans and marine life,” CEO Kim Lopdrup said. “We hope our work helps raise awareness around the issue of plastic straws and encourages other businesses to make similar changes.”

We hope it doesn’t.

It’s not that we’re pro-pollution. There is a pile of microplastic garbage twice the size of Texas floating in the Pacific Ocean.